No one is you!

“To fall in love with yourself is the first secret to happiness.” – Robert Morley

“You alone are enough. You have nothing to prove to anyone.” – Maya Angelou

“Self-love is really a foundation for everything, and however you practice or express that is so, so important.” – Solange Knowles

“You have to love yourself because no amount of love from others is sufficient to fill the yearning that your soul requires from you.” – Dodinsky

“Self respect, self worth and self love all start with self. Stop looking outside of yourself for your value.” – Rob Liano

There you have it.

Don’t ever let anyone dull your sparkle.

All the Love,

ADA

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A letter that is hitting girls around the world

I just read this and I feel that every girl needs to hear this. It is very thoughtful and apt.

Success Inspirers' World

Drawing courtesy Prachi Meena
Drawing courtesy Prachi Meena

Girls around the world face enormous challenges. Many of them end with broken hearts. Some boys end with broken hearts also but girls suffer the most. I can’t sit and watch my lovely girls end with shattered hearts. Hence this advice from a father who cares.

My dear girls,
This is a loving letter to you from someone who cares. You will see how much I love you as you read along. I am writing to you from the bottom of my heart and I am happy you are willing to listen to advice from an old man.

I am an old man and I know what I am talking about. I am writing to you because I know the challenges you face as girls. I know what many of you are going through. I have been interacting with young people since 1981. This has enabled…

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Choose People Wisely

This is so apt. I couldn’t have said this better.

Lifemerized

We all have been heart broken some time or the other. So many times, we expect things which should be obvious in the given situation but often get less than deserved. To look carefully, we actually could have the control of what and how we feel. It’s just our way of looking at things!

So often we go around chasing people who don’t want to stay. We’re so worried about these people who are completely incapable of understanding us and our emotions. The only reason we care so much about their existence in our lives, the only reason we care so much about what they think of us is our unexplained affection for them. We sometimes pick a liking for a person whom we know so little and simply seem to not have control over it. We think of the non-obvious and start putting in so much from our side…

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6 Steps to Overcome Worry

I believe worrying is pointless. I know its normal but I usually accept what I can change and what I can’t. This way I don’t bother myself over what I can’t control. Instead, I focus my energy on what I can control and what I can help.

This is the way I’m built, but I know a lot of people who suffer chronic anxiety and worrying. And I also know from experience that telling them to stop worrying only makes them worry more. They have to decide that they don’t want it anymore and then make a conscious effort to stop it. You, as their friend, can only support and help to reaffirm that everything will be fine. Do not pressure them to stop worrying or harass them to change; it doesn’t help.

You can overcome your worry by following these steps:

  1. Try to kill anxious thoughts by exercising, meditating on your present situation, practicing yoga and practicing deep breathing exercises. These techniques give you immediate escape from anxiety and help to build your brain against anxiety. The more practice you have, the more control you’ll have over anxiety and worry.
  2. Talk to a good, non-judgmental friend about your worries. This way you can come up with a solution to your problems or you may realize that they are not worthy of worry. This can also help you determine if your problems are within your control or not, that is, if you should worry or not.
  3. Learn to plan your worrying. Set a time frame for your worrying. This should not be too early so that it does not destabilize your day and not too late so that it does not affect your sleep routine. This time frame should be the same everyday and should be maintained. If a worry pops up during the rest of the day, write a quick note and remind yourself that there is time for worry later. During the worry period you write out your worries and decide which ones are valid and which ones are unnecessary and try to figure out solutions to the problems. This way you’ll find it easier to balance your thoughts and soon enough you’ll reduce your worry time until you no longer need it.
  4. Try to differentiate between solvable worries and unsolvable worries. Then, try to figure out and research solutions to the solvable problems. For the unsolvable worries, learn to accept the uncertainty and your inability to do anything. Its all a part of life. Worrying is often a way we try to predict what the future has in store-a way to prevent unpleasant surprises and control the outcome. The problem is, it doesn’t work. Thinking about all the things that could go wrong doesn’t make life any more predictable. Focusing on worst-case scenarios will only keep you from enjoying the good things you have in the present. To stop worrying, tackle your need for certainty and immediate answers.
  5. Always acknowledge your worries. Never ignore them.
  6. Try to always focus on the present. When the worry starts creeping in, try not to get frustrated; it doesn’t help. Instead, focus on your breathing, your present situation, the task you are performing and your present surrounding. This skill of trying to maintain consciousness of the present requires practice. Overtime, you’ll develop a new habit that will help you overcome the terrible habit of worrying.

Try these steps to overcome worry. I wish you good luck!

Lots of love,

Ada

EIGHT ATTITUDES I TOTALLY CANNOT STAND and then some

Hey guys, how has your New Year been so far? I hope it has been amazing and beautifully blissful.

Well then, let’s just dive in.

  1. Chronic complaining: This is the one I hate so much. These people complain about any and everything. They never see good. There’s always a problem. They always focus on the problems and never see progress just the setbacks. To me, this is the WORST attitude on earth and possibly in the universe.
  2. Wastefulness: This one is not tolerable as well. I feel that if something is in excess, it can either be saved or given out to others. I don’t like it when people just throw things out because they don’t want them anymore. Don’t get me wrong, I hate keeping unnecessary things. I declutter all the time but i don’t dispose of useful things or let them rot.
  3. Narrow-mindedness: Narrow-minded people see things in one way and are never open to see things in a different point of view. It often stems from ignorance. This attitude should not be confused with people who have firm beliefs. Narrow-minded people are very judgmental and they must always be right. They don’t listen to what others have to say, they’d rather argue. Its infuriating.
  4. Chronic dishonesty: I’m not talking about lying here because no matter how we all try to not lie, we all do. It might be deliberate or not, in order to avoid some bad events (not saying its a good attitude tho). What I am talking about is deliberate deceitfulness, lying, cheating and a lack of integrity all rolled up into one. You cannot believe what these people say or do and you cannot trust that it is in your interest. They act without honesty and are always dubious. Please stay clear of this attitude.
  5. Vainness: While I totally appreciate people who are confident and have a lot of self-love, I do not like vain people. They are conceited and they think so highly of themselves, they feel other people are stupid, dumb or of lesser value. I don’t stay near these kind of people because they make me want to put a hole in their face. Being proud of oneself is important but becoming so proud is the beginning of one’s downfall.
  6. Envy: You can look at others as a source of inspiration. Other than that, maybe admiration. You shouldn’t begin to feel discontented or resentful that they have what they have and wish that they didn’t have it (I’m not sure that my tense is right but bear with me 🙂 ).
  7. Mistrust: When you have a mistrusting attitude, you are always suspicious of others and you have no confidence in others. I know its hard to trust in people but its good to have a little faith in humans. They can be really amazing sometimes.
  8. Filthiness and Dirtiness: This is a no no. Its unhealthy for both the dirty/filthy person and other people around. Even if you don’t organize your things, do not keep dirt lying around. Do not pile dirt, wash things regularly and try to clean regularly both body and environment.
  9. Don’t take responsibility for things you can’t control. No need for extra pressure or stress in your life.
  10. Don’t dwell on negatives.
  11. Please, do not always jump to conclusions. It is truly the root of so many fights. Assumptions, tsk tsk 🙂
  12. Please try to overcome laziness. This one has been hounding me but I’ll overcome 🙂
  13. Procrastination is a deadly killer. Do not put off what you can do today for tomorrow.

Our attitudes define us. Lets work towards better, positive attitudes for all-round well-being.

P.S. There’s more but I’m really sleepy. So, comment below attitudes we should all change.

XOXO

|| Psychology behind the Excuses ||

I make excuses a lot and I’m trying to stop that. I think I do that whenever what I want to do seems difficult. But, I find that once I start doing it, I realize how foolish it was of me to put it off. I’m totally working on this.

Bittermarshmellos

Making Excuses is the simplest and easiest thing to do. The human brain is designed in such a way that it does not want to explore the veiled immeasurable stores of energy. In other words, it limits the human being to an extent and disallows him to extend it further. That is the reason why people love to live in the comfort and afraid of the life struggles. The brain frames the mind, then mind further frames the human and it’s a trap but of comforts.

Specifically, one of the powerful excuse is the excuse of human nature. After ten or twenty attempts, you failed and give up in something. Then the mind exhausts and give an excuse that it’s a human nature. Everyone exhausts after such efforts. So I give up. You have to write a post after returning from work at home, but unfortunately you get just half…

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I got a semi-marriage proposal today.

Its not a funny story.

Sometime around 7:30pm, someone knocked on my gate. I sent my little brother to check who it was and he ran back to say that two boys were looking for me. My parents were not around at the time so I hurried to answer them and dismiss them because we all know what African Parents are capable of and I didn’t want any burnt child on my conscience.

By the time I got to the gate, my dad was just driving in. I quickly let him into the house and then snuck out to dismiss my friends. Turns out that they didn’t have any plans to go. They told me that they came to visit so that they could introduce themselves to my parents. I was so shocked because they even came with a bottle of wine. I was scared because it was late, they were of the opposite sex and they were definitely going to get me into trouble.

As they were about to leave, my dad came out and asked why we were standing outside. They quickly replied that I didn’t want them to come in. I told my dad that it was because it was late. My dad suddenly said that I was right and that they should return in the day. Immediately they left, my dad asked what the drink was for and I told him that the boys said it was for my parents. Everyone in my house started laughing and saying that I had just gotten a marriage proposal. I was so embarrassed. But then, I was also happy that my parents didn’t behave like typical African Parents because they’ve ruined so many friendships of mine that way. 😦

My dad and my brother mentioned in the story.

P.S. I love them so much.

And its 12:52am right now and sleep is still faraway.

Well, bye.

Toot Your Horn

This blog post is in response to a daily prompt. Its supposed to be for the 16th of January but, I think its perfect for today.

There are so many good things about me, I don’t even know my favorite thing about me. I mean, we can talk about my great intellectual skills, my beautiful physical appearance or my amazing sense of humor. 😂😂😂 If only we could.

Okay, enough with the self-deprecating!!

I think my favorite thing about me is my ability to adapt effectively to every situation I find myself. I haven’t been able to figure out whether I’m an introvert or an extrovert. But, I know that I cannot solely be restricted to any group. When in social situations where the atmosphere is awkward, I’m able to dilute the awkwardness and I always come up with something generally accepted to converse on. When in opposite situations, I can be as quiet and observant as is necessary to maintain a good conversation. Then, I can also be both.

I am not only talking about social situations. When I have a task that requires optimum focus, time and concentration, I’m able to give it a 100%. But, when I’m presented with a task that isn’t challenging for me, I find a way to make it work with the least possible amount of effort. I’m good under pressure and without pressure. I’m always calm but, when the situation requires more aggressiveness and violence than is considered normal, I’m your girl.

Its like I’m a chameleon, I’m so adaptable and flexible. But, this is restricted to situations and places. Unfortunately, this does not apply to people. I’m the most rigid person I know in that area. I hardly ever change my first opinion about a person (but, I’m usually always right so that’s probably not so bad). I’m so good at work, play, conversations (when I’m in the mood), tasks, events and situations; both good and bad. Its my superpower.

I do love my self. I believe I’m an amazing person and I’m quite confident and bold. That’s why I’d never miss an opportunity to toot my horn.

LOL

Lots of love,

Ada

 

 

Happy New Year Folks

I’m dancing right now. Literally!

The first day of the year is always one of my happiest days in the year and here I am seeing yet another first day of the year. I couldn’t be anymore grateful to God.

I entered the new year (funny choice of verb right?) in church surrounded by my family and loved ones. There was so much shouting and jumping and rejoicing. Its amazing how much hope new years always bring with them. Everyone is so happy because we all believe there is a chance to make things right because of the new beginning.

All I wish for everyone this year is joy, love and peace. I’ve come to realize that those are the three most important things in life. That is, alongside money and good health 🙂 . I hope that we all have a chance to fulfill our dreams this new year.

For now, Happy New Year Everyone!!

Have Fun and be Merry!

Lots of love,

Ada

 

Finally, we get to see 2018 off

2018 is basically over.

First off, I’m grateful to God that I’m seeing the end of yet another year. I know I sound cliche but I almost died this year, so, let me.

I didn’t post a single entry this year. School was really hard this year. But, I’m not going to put all the blame on school because I know I was so lazy this year. You know, I came into the year with so many goals and plans but if I’m going to score myself on my achievements, I’d probably give myself a 2 out of 10.

That said, it doesn’t mean that my 2018 was uneventful. I mean, I lost more friends than I made this year. I’d like to believe that’s a sign that I’m growing. I also took some courses that I really loved  and they gave me a clue as to what i want to do with my life. 2018 also saw me moving from my off-campus apartment into an apartment on campus. Staying on campus definitely beats being off-campus. Not that I used to mind being off-campus. It had its perks too.

This year, I guess I was so focused on school my creative side began to feel non-existent. I know I’m not overtly creative but I have some gifts, I’m sure. Well, my efforts didn’t pay off as much as I expected. I have really come to understand what people mean when they say that the closer you are to graduation, the harder it is for your grades to come up. So, its been decided that, I’m going to focus more on enjoying the school life and reviving my creative side.

My mum and I got closer this year. I’ve always been a daddy’s girl and all that but this year my mum and I have developed this beautiful relationship that I’m absolutely loving. I believe its due to the fact that I’ve grown so much this year. So many things that used to hold my attention before don’t anymore. That just gives me the chance to focus on all the important stuff- My relationships, my goals, my studies, my health and my God.

A lot of my plans for this year didn’t work out but I know that 2019 has a lot in store for me so I’m going to give you a glimpse into the new year. I want to develop and focus on all my relationships because people keep saying that I don’t treat the people I care about properly. I know this is because they just don’t understand the way I’m wired. Sometimes, I wish I could open my heart for everyone to see what I truly feel because even though I’m blunt, people still want to believe what they want to.

Next year, I definitely want to finish all the sewing and crocheting projects I started this year. I also want to post very often. I want to write because I love writing. Sightseeing and journeying to new places is also very much on my agenda (I want to try the whole outdoor lifestyle). My studies are not going to be everything like they were this year, but, its my final year so I definitely have to put in some effort. My final goals for the next year are hair, skin and body goals. My killer version has been waiting for too long to be unveiled.

Well well, this is goodbye to 2018.

2019, I can’t wait.

 

This Too Shall Pass

Hey guys,

I’m feeling like a little motivation today. Today was such a beautiful day compared to all the days in the past month. It got me thinking. Bad things happen all the time. Some really bad things happen and you can’t even imagine how they happen or how you’re going to go through them and still be fine. But, they always pass.

I think the key is to remember that when things are good, it won’t always be that way. Make sure to cherish every moment of it. Also, when things are bad, bear in mind that it won’t always be that way. You have to take one day at a time bearing in mind that it too, will pass.

Image result for this too shall pass

So, no matter how bad things are, bear in mind that they shall pass. Until then, know that things will get better and let that make you you happy.

It will get better.

This too shall pass.

This too shall pass.

This too shall pass.

Now say it……..

Why Do I Write?

I have tried to answer this question over and over again, but its just so difficult to. I will try to provide an answer as my first post so you guys can understand the reason for my blog.

I write because I can. I write because its difficult to express myself orally. I feel like I don’t know what I think until I read what I write. I write because it calms me down. It makes everything easier. I write because the voice inside me is not still until it speaks. I write because I want to be read. I want to be understood. I want to inspire, to motivate and to heal.

That’s it.