I believe worrying is pointless. I know its normal but I usually accept what I can change and what I can’t. This way I don’t bother myself over what I can’t control. Instead, I focus my energy on what I can control and what I can help.
This is the way I’m built, but I know a lot of people who suffer chronic anxiety and worrying. And I also know from experience that telling them to stop worrying only makes them worry more. They have to decide that they don’t want it anymore and then make a conscious effort to stop it. You, as their friend, can only support and help to reaffirm that everything will be fine. Do not pressure them to stop worrying or harass them to change; it doesn’t help.
You can overcome your worry by following these steps:
- Try to kill anxious thoughts by exercising, meditating on your present situation, practicing yoga and practicing deep breathing exercises. These techniques give you immediate escape from anxiety and help to build your brain against anxiety. The more practice you have, the more control you’ll have over anxiety and worry.
- Talk to a good, non-judgmental friend about your worries. This way you can come up with a solution to your problems or you may realize that they are not worthy of worry. This can also help you determine if your problems are within your control or not, that is, if you should worry or not.
- Learn to plan your worrying. Set a time frame for your worrying. This should not be too early so that it does not destabilize your day and not too late so that it does not affect your sleep routine. This time frame should be the same everyday and should be maintained. If a worry pops up during the rest of the day, write a quick note and remind yourself that there is time for worry later. During the worry period you write out your worries and decide which ones are valid and which ones are unnecessary and try to figure out solutions to the problems. This way you’ll find it easier to balance your thoughts and soon enough you’ll reduce your worry time until you no longer need it.
- Try to differentiate between solvable worries and unsolvable worries. Then, try to figure out and research solutions to the solvable problems. For the unsolvable worries, learn to accept the uncertainty and your inability to do anything. Its all a part of life. Worrying is often a way we try to predict what the future has in store-a way to prevent unpleasant surprises and control the outcome. The problem is, it doesn’t work. Thinking about all the things that could go wrong doesn’t make life any more predictable. Focusing on worst-case scenarios will only keep you from enjoying the good things you have in the present. To stop worrying, tackle your need for certainty and immediate answers.
- Always acknowledge your worries. Never ignore them.
- Try to always focus on the present. When the worry starts creeping in, try not to get frustrated; it doesn’t help. Instead, focus on your breathing, your present situation, the task you are performing and your present surrounding. This skill of trying to maintain consciousness of the present requires practice. Overtime, you’ll develop a new habit that will help you overcome the terrible habit of worrying.
Try these steps to overcome worry. I wish you good luck!
Lots of love,